Happy Mother’s Day! This week as you might imagine I heard lots of mom stories in my visits with patients. Favorite Mother’s Days, special outings, homemade breakfasts-in-bed, flowers, drawings, and more. I remember fondly the year my boys dug a huge new garden for me all along the west side of our house. It was a perfect spring day and we worked hard—with a lot of laughter and stories–all afternoon together, out in the beautiful sunshine. Every year when I plant and tend that garden I think of that day. So many of the gifts we give and receive on Mother’s Day take on a life of their own like that, bringing memories of love to our minds and hearts long past the day they were given.
I noticed this year that the card industry has caught on to the idea that the people who love and nurture us with a mom’s tenderness don’t have to be our actual moms. There were cards for “My Other Mom” and for those “who have been like a mom to me.” Maybe you had a super kind dad who did a lot of the nurturing in your house. For some, it’s a beloved aunt, an older friend, or a mentor or colleague who extends just the kindness and wisdom we need at just the right time.
I remember a fellow editor named Jeanine who did that for me when I worked at Macmillan many years ago. She had the exact same birthdate as my mom—month, day, and year—and she had a knack for offering just the idea I needed in a given moment. I trusted and appreciated her insights. One time we were talking on the phone—after she retired we stayed in touch for years—and I told her I was struggling with a decision and didn’t know what to do. She listened and then said simply, “I’ve learned in my life that it’s easier for God to direct moving targets.” She told me to pray about it, choose a next step that felt right to me, and then trust God to guide me the rest of the way. Her clear, encouraging words were just what I needed. I did what she suggested and everything worked out fine.
Many years ago, Fred Rogers of Mister Roger’s Neighborhood received a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Emmy’s, and when he went up to the podium to accept the award, he asked the audience to pause with him for 10 seconds and remember the people, “who have loved you into being.” As the camera showed the faces of the quiet audience, some wiped away tears, while others closed their eyes and remembered. It was a tender moment. People took it seriously, preciously. A mothering moment. Mister Rogers was reminding us once again of the best and most loving parts of ourselves, helping us remember how blessed we are and have always been.
And that is one of the beautiful things that mothers do in our lives. They remind us of our best parts, even if something less-than-our-best is currently on display. I’ve mentioned before the story my old pastor shared from when he was a teenager. On Friday nights, when he asked for the car keys so he could go cruising with his friends, his mother set the keys into his open hand, looked him in the eye, and said, “Remember who you are.” A simple phrase, and a strong reminder that come what may, whatever the rest of the world does, we need to hold on to and believe in our best qualities, our highest values, the true and good potential of our souls.
The story of Ruth in the Old Testament is one of my favorites simply because Ruth remembered who she was—a good woman with a kind heart—and she lived by that. She wasn’t looking for praise or any advantage for doing the right thing: she just did what she did because she felt it was the right thing to do. She followed her heart. We know the story well; A man and his wife and two sons had left Bethlehem because of a great famine and settled in the land of Moab. After a while, the husband died, and the two sons married wives from that area. And then, after about 10 years, both those sons also died, leaving their mother, Naomi, and her two daughters-in-law alone. When Naomi heard that the famine was over in Bethlehem, she decided to return home. She told her daughters-in-law they needed to go back to their own families, because they were young enough that they could marry again and have families of their own. They were all sad to leave each other—they wept, the story says—but Naomi was clear about what they needed to do.
However, Ruth had other ideas. She clung to Naomi and refused to go. Naomi tried to insist, but Ruth told her,
“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.”
That is some tender, strong, non-negotiable devotion right there. A bond deeper than anything this world can offer. You might wonder which woman in this story is showing the tender, aware, goodness of a mother’s love and I think the answer must be both. Naomi wants the best for her daughters-in-law, even though her own heart is breaking. Ruth is devoted to Naomi and concerned for her well-being, unable to let her continue on alone. Ruth’s devotion reminds Naomi that she is loved and lovable and God has not forgotten her. There is Godly energy flowing both ways. They are each “loving each other into being” in their own unique way.
Whatever kindness, goodness, gentleness, nurturance, or patience we share with or receive from others, the original source of the blessing is the heart of God. God’s shines the loving light of grace through the smiles, words, and actions of our mothers and friends, sisters and grandmothers. We love each other because God first loved us. If we’ve received it well, if we valued and nurtured it, our hearts will begin to overflow into other lives with God’s kindness and care.
I like the way Sufi teacher Hazrat Inayat Khan says this. He wrote,
“Is not God enough for our souls, and is He not sufficient to inspire us and to illuminate our wills and guide our souls? Is he any less of a friend here or in the spirit life? He is the great well-wisher.”
I love that: He is the great well-wisher. All good, all peace, provision, health, beauty; loving connection with all life, lived together in a state of joy. That’s what God wants for us. The great well-wisher. Those who have loved us into being have done it with the love and goodness of God.
The New Testament story we heard today comes from the book of Matthew, and it’s one of the big miracles Jesus performed—the feeding of four thousand men, women, and children on the hillside by the Sea of Gallilee. The people had been bringing their sick and dying to Jesus for days, hoping he would heal them. As Matthew tells the story, Jesus is concerned for those who have been there so long. He says,
“I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way.”
Jesus was concerned for their well-being. He knew they needed sustenance and rest. Like Naomi, he was thinking of what was best for them. Like God, he was the great well-wisher. He understood that God loves every single one of God’s children perfectly, and that nothing and no one can ever be outside of God’s love. So even though the disciples were at a loss, trying to imagine where they would find enough food to provide for all these hungry people, Jesus must have been certain that God would provide. He asked the disciples, “How many loaves do you have?”
“Seven,” they said, “and a few small fish.”
Jesus told everyone to sit on the ground, and then he took the seven loaves of bread and the fish and he gave thanks for them. That’s an important moment; blessing what we have, whatever it is, however much we’ve got. Even if it doesn’t seem like enough—enough food, money, health, peace, progress, light. Saying thank you and meaning it, intending to share it, whatever it is is an important first step. God directs a moving target. Do we want more kindness in our world? Let’s make a deliberate effort to share all the kindness we can. Do we believe the world lacks order and balance? We can begin today by putting our own lives and hearts in order, intentionally choosing balance and peace. Recognizing what we have—and saying thank you, ready to share—is an important part of carrying God’s goodness forward, sharing blessing everywhere we go.
Have you ever wondered what Jesus was thinking as he raised the bread to give thanks? Perhaps he pictured in his mind’s eye everyone fed and full and content. Or maybe he just felt inwardly that all would be well and every person would have what they needed. Jesus knew God so well, he was no doubt certain of the limitless nature of God’s goodness. He trusted it so much that he simply stood up, blessed what they had, and began to share.
I think God loves moments like this, moments when we are all together, when we’re paying attention, looking for answers. We aren’t quite sure how a problem will be solved or a need will be met. We’re open to solutions and then an answer comes. Love finds a way. Hope is reignited. Goodness prevails. Moments like that connect us—uniting us in our hungering for goodness and love—and for a time we forget what divides us and makes us seem so different from one another. That’s the starting point for the kingdom of heaven, beginning to shine into existence. One caring gesture, one loaf, one smile at a time.
Many years ago I heard someone speak on this passage and they offered an interesting perspective: What if the kindness of Jesus’ compassion and the courage of his action inspired other people in the crowd that day to share what they had but had kept hidden away. Isn’t that an interesting idea? Perhaps the people in the crowd had food of their own but didn’t want others to know that, for fear it might be taken from them. Their focus was on themselves and their need, not the needs of the community around them. But because of Jesus’ sharing heart and loving example, they were inspired to share what they had just then. And as generosity spread from family to family, a loving, kind community of care arose on the hillside that day. Kingdom of heaven, shining in love, extended through open hearts.
In a very similar way, we are gathered together right now in our world on a great hillside of existence, struggling with seemingly insurmountable problems that the quest for worldly power presents. We are all hungering, together, for peace, wisdom, safety, and healing. Perhaps we too will be inspired by Jesus’ compassion and courage, his always personal response to the crushing need around him. We might begin to take out the gifts and blessings we have—not meant for just us alone—and share our kindness and courage. We’ll take the risk to love others into being. And as the momentum builds, we’ll no longer let discouragement or division drown out the loving, kind, good and generous souls in us. We were made to be part of the answer and not just part of the crowd. This healing work is ours to do. Our mothers—our God, our lives—have taught us well.
Mother’s Day is day of honoring and remembering and celebrating, but perhaps more than anything else, it is a day of gratitude. We’re grateful for the million-and-one ways our moms loved us into being. Grateful for the opportunities we are given to be a nurturing, loving, encouraging presence in others’ lives. Grateful to God that such deep goodness is woven right into our souls as the heart of who we are, individually and as a greater community. It’s the mother’s light of love that gathers us all together, reminding us of our deep gifts, and teaching us to joyfully share “that of God” in us with a waiting world.
RESOURCES:
- OT Ruth 1: 6-18
- NT Matthew 15: 29-38
- Photo: The Sixth World Conference of Friends, held at Kabarak University near Nakuru, Kenya, where the “Kabarak Call for Peace and Ecojustice” was approved on 24 April 2012.
The Space between the Words 